We are beginning another month at preschool, and I am very excited about the theme that we are learning about this month. We are discovering the "Joy of Communication and Relationships".
Richard Eyre shares the following experience:
I once knew a middle-aged man, an accountant, who had a ledger-book-sized Christmas-card list. In this thick book all the pages were filled; there were hundreds and hundreds of names. "Business contacts?" I asked. He glanced over, paused for a moment as though considering whether he should tell me something important, then said, "No, they're relationships." He anticipated my next question you form, no matter how small, if it is genuine, can be an asset of eternal duration. No other entry can cancel it out. Some of us spend all our time on temporary assets: money, positions, achievements. We ought to spend more on the eternal assets like relationships. Whenever I earn one, I make an entry on my Christmas card list."
I watched the accountant closer from then on and found that he practiced what he preached. When he met someone - on a plane, in his business, at a PTA meeting - his attitude seemed to be: 'What can I learn from you? What is interesting and unique about you?" For him, life was a fascinating kaleidoscope of relationships, or endless people, each endlessly interesting and each offering more potential joy than a new car or a new position.
Recommended books:
It's Mine! a fable by Leo Lionni (*this is the book we read in class this week)
Mine! Mine! Mine! by Shelly Becker
The Way I Feel by Janan Cain
Words Are Not for Hurting by Elizabeth Verdick
Talk and Work It Out (Learning to Get Along) by Cheri J. Meiners
Share and Take Turns (Learning to Get Along) by Cheri J. Meiners
Methods for teaching ‘Joy of Communication and Relationships’
- Develop a tradition of listening. Really listen, don’t just direct the conversation, and help children glimpse the joy of seeing other person’s point of view.
- Have a sense of humor. Laugh at your own mistakes & laugh w/children at every opportunity!
- Always encourage children to hug and make up after a disagreement.
- Teach and explain the Golden Rule – practice and practice this with your children!
- Role reversal: let children play the parent role while you play child, so they can see and understand some of the problems that we face as parents.
- Don’t constantly tell children what to say while you are in public! They will begin to depend on you telling them what to say, and not take the initiative on their own. Talk to them after a situation, instead of at the moment telling them, “Say thank you” or “Say please” – but afterwards role play together and set the stage for them to speak appropriately and on their own the next time. Help your child see the value of taking initiative in a situation and in their own life.
Watch our communication with our children
- Speak candidly to children – they don’t understand generalizations or round-about talking.
- Help children write letters – you can write while they express their thoughts and feelings. Praise them for phrasing things well as they dictate a letter to you, or while you are talking together. ** NOTE: NEVER THINK THAT YOU ARE CORRECTING YOUR CHILD'S SPEECH MORE THAN YOU SHOULD! OUR CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW THE CORRECT WAY TO SPEAK, AND WE ARE THE ONES THAT ARE TEACHING THEM! DON'T ALLOW THEM TO USE THE WRONG WORD OR PHRASE AND IGNORE IT...DON'T INTERRUPT THEM, BUT NICELY AND APPROPRIATELY INSERT THE CORRECT WAY TO SAY THE WORD!
- Give lots of praise when your child explains or says something particularly well.
- At dinner, encourage your child to talk about something that they know a lot about – or something that they have just learned and is excited to know about.
- Talk on the phone or have close family/friends talk on the phone with your child whenever possible.
- Encourage your child to take advantage of any speaking opportunities. Them them really learn how to communicate to an audience.
- Try to avoid communicating FOR children – and don’t give them a cue every time they are supposed to speak.
- * Discuss how wonderful it is that people are able to communicate with words. We don’t have to fight – like some animals – when we disagree or aren’t able to get what we want. Say, “Let’s talk about it” or “Use your words” or what we try to say, “You are a big person, use your big words to tell us what you feel/want/need/etc.”
Relationships
- * Talk out disagreements. Sit down face to face to work out problems or disagreements that they have with one another or yourself.
- Be an example. Show that relationships should be more important than achievements by always taking time for a relationship.
- Don’t always step in on children’s relationships or try to steer them too much – let them work things out. Sometimes they are able to work things out much better without our interference/”help”!
- * Role-play relationship problems and let the children give ways to solve particular difficulties. Role-play what to do if you want a toy someone has, or if you hurt someone, or someone calls you a bad name. Have your children act out a situation that ended in unhappiness and show how it could have been handled better and ended happily.
- Encourage children to have their own special friends over to play.
- Do something special for your children to let them know of the importance of your friendship with them.
- Develop the family as a social unit. Encourage children to think of family members as their best friends…after all that is what we hope and desire them to be!
Learning Idea for Your Child
Increasing a child's attention span :
Work on increasing your child's attention span step by step, and helping them grow in this area. Give your child a planned activity and require them to stay with it for a fixed period of time. Set the timer. Start with 10 or 15 minutes. Do 2 of these times per day to begin with, one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and not when they're hungry or tired. Build up the time gradually. Be persistent and follow through on waiting until the timer rings, even if they say they are all done in 5 minutes. Focusing is a skill and like any skill, some people find it easier than others, but everyone can learn.
*Find an area that you feel your child needs to specifically work on for their behavior. Do they need a longer attention span when reading books, cleaning their room, doing an activity (art or other). The focus and direction that they receive will help them have a great ability to work well on their own in school, and keep a goal in mind even when other things are happening that could distract them. A key element for success!
Richard Eyre shares the following experience:
I once knew a middle-aged man, an accountant, who had a ledger-book-sized Christmas-card list. In this thick book all the pages were filled; there were hundreds and hundreds of names. "Business contacts?" I asked. He glanced over, paused for a moment as though considering whether he should tell me something important, then said, "No, they're relationships." He anticipated my next question you form, no matter how small, if it is genuine, can be an asset of eternal duration. No other entry can cancel it out. Some of us spend all our time on temporary assets: money, positions, achievements. We ought to spend more on the eternal assets like relationships. Whenever I earn one, I make an entry on my Christmas card list."
I watched the accountant closer from then on and found that he practiced what he preached. When he met someone - on a plane, in his business, at a PTA meeting - his attitude seemed to be: 'What can I learn from you? What is interesting and unique about you?" For him, life was a fascinating kaleidoscope of relationships, or endless people, each endlessly interesting and each offering more potential joy than a new car or a new position.
Recommended books:
It's Mine! a fable by Leo Lionni (*this is the book we read in class this week)
Mine! Mine! Mine! by Shelly Becker
The Way I Feel by Janan Cain
Words Are Not for Hurting by Elizabeth Verdick
Talk and Work It Out (Learning to Get Along) by Cheri J. Meiners
Share and Take Turns (Learning to Get Along) by Cheri J. Meiners
Methods for teaching ‘Joy of Communication and Relationships’
- Develop a tradition of listening. Really listen, don’t just direct the conversation, and help children glimpse the joy of seeing other person’s point of view.
- Have a sense of humor. Laugh at your own mistakes & laugh w/children at every opportunity!
- Always encourage children to hug and make up after a disagreement.
- Teach and explain the Golden Rule – practice and practice this with your children!
- Role reversal: let children play the parent role while you play child, so they can see and understand some of the problems that we face as parents.
- Don’t constantly tell children what to say while you are in public! They will begin to depend on you telling them what to say, and not take the initiative on their own. Talk to them after a situation, instead of at the moment telling them, “Say thank you” or “Say please” – but afterwards role play together and set the stage for them to speak appropriately and on their own the next time. Help your child see the value of taking initiative in a situation and in their own life.
Watch our communication with our children
- Speak candidly to children – they don’t understand generalizations or round-about talking.
- Help children write letters – you can write while they express their thoughts and feelings. Praise them for phrasing things well as they dictate a letter to you, or while you are talking together. ** NOTE: NEVER THINK THAT YOU ARE CORRECTING YOUR CHILD'S SPEECH MORE THAN YOU SHOULD! OUR CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW THE CORRECT WAY TO SPEAK, AND WE ARE THE ONES THAT ARE TEACHING THEM! DON'T ALLOW THEM TO USE THE WRONG WORD OR PHRASE AND IGNORE IT...DON'T INTERRUPT THEM, BUT NICELY AND APPROPRIATELY INSERT THE CORRECT WAY TO SAY THE WORD!
- Give lots of praise when your child explains or says something particularly well.
- At dinner, encourage your child to talk about something that they know a lot about – or something that they have just learned and is excited to know about.
- Talk on the phone or have close family/friends talk on the phone with your child whenever possible.
- Encourage your child to take advantage of any speaking opportunities. Them them really learn how to communicate to an audience.
- Try to avoid communicating FOR children – and don’t give them a cue every time they are supposed to speak.
- * Discuss how wonderful it is that people are able to communicate with words. We don’t have to fight – like some animals – when we disagree or aren’t able to get what we want. Say, “Let’s talk about it” or “Use your words” or what we try to say, “You are a big person, use your big words to tell us what you feel/want/need/etc.”
Relationships
- * Talk out disagreements. Sit down face to face to work out problems or disagreements that they have with one another or yourself.
- Be an example. Show that relationships should be more important than achievements by always taking time for a relationship.
- Don’t always step in on children’s relationships or try to steer them too much – let them work things out. Sometimes they are able to work things out much better without our interference/”help”!
- * Role-play relationship problems and let the children give ways to solve particular difficulties. Role-play what to do if you want a toy someone has, or if you hurt someone, or someone calls you a bad name. Have your children act out a situation that ended in unhappiness and show how it could have been handled better and ended happily.
- Encourage children to have their own special friends over to play.
- Do something special for your children to let them know of the importance of your friendship with them.
- Develop the family as a social unit. Encourage children to think of family members as their best friends…after all that is what we hope and desire them to be!
Learning Idea for Your Child
Increasing a child's attention span :
Work on increasing your child's attention span step by step, and helping them grow in this area. Give your child a planned activity and require them to stay with it for a fixed period of time. Set the timer. Start with 10 or 15 minutes. Do 2 of these times per day to begin with, one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and not when they're hungry or tired. Build up the time gradually. Be persistent and follow through on waiting until the timer rings, even if they say they are all done in 5 minutes. Focusing is a skill and like any skill, some people find it easier than others, but everyone can learn.
*Find an area that you feel your child needs to specifically work on for their behavior. Do they need a longer attention span when reading books, cleaning their room, doing an activity (art or other). The focus and direction that they receive will help them have a great ability to work well on their own in school, and keep a goal in mind even when other things are happening that could distract them. A key element for success!
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