Here are some other items that we have been focusing on this month - some in conjuction with the theme of 'Joy in Communication and Relationships' and some that are just part of what we do day to day!
SPEECH/COMMUNICATION:
"I'm a BIG person - so I can use BIG words!" This has become our motto, and it is what I ask the children to remember when they need to express a need, concern, want, etc. to myself, their friends at preschool, at home with you as a family, and anyone else that they talk with. They love to say this line, and it is true that our children are learning rapidly and can express their feelings (feelings that we learned about last month!) to others...sometimes they might need a little help, but hopefully it is just helping them remember that they are BIG, and they need to use their BIG words!
BIG WORDS that we use:
These words should be common not only in preschool, but again at home or wherever the children are. The words are part of their BIG person vocabulary, and we have a fun time practicing them in role-plays with our puppets, and especially when we have snack time and the children use these with one another...I need to video snack and have you watch it. It's so sweet to watch a 3 year old, take around a plate of apples, and ask "______, would you like an apple today?" So-and-so responds, "Yes, thank you. I would love an apple (or other such phrase, but the important part is to get the beginning words!), or "No thank you, I do not care for apples." The children know that they should not say, "I don't like this, or that", or say "Ewwww!" to anything that is served. They don't have to eat something, however we encourage "try bites" (what I call them with my children), and to always be polite and use their BIG WORDS!
PLEASE
THANK YOU
YOU'RE WELCOME
I'M SORRY
EXCUSE ME - This is a hard one to be consistent with as parents, but we need to make sure that our children do not interrupt us or any adult, as this is a beginning way of teaching respect for their elders and people in general. Work to have a signal that they can give to you when they need you. Our signal (not perfect, but we work on using it more and more!), is that the children are to put their hand on my leg if I am talking to someone else, on the phone, etc. and they need my attention. I have promised them - and MUST follow through myself, that I will stop at the earliest convenience to hear what they need to say. Neither one of us should abuse this privilege with one another, and when we do, then the system does not work!
Patterning - A beginning mathematical concept, and something that we have done with shapes and colors, and will continue to add more onto. The bead and tube necklaces are a way that we work on patterns...so not only is your child bringing you beautiful jewelry, but they are learning how to look and build patterns. Look for everyday ways to incorporate this by looking at everyday patterns around you...encourage your children to find the patterns and show you!
Right and Left - We sing the 'Hokey-Pokey', start 'Ring Around the Rosey' going right and then left, sing our Welcome Song to the right and then the left, start walking on our right foot, etc. The main idea...talk through what foot or hand your child is using to help them know the difference between the two. Teaching Tip: If you hold your left hand up, with index finger up and thumb out, it looks like the letter 'L' for 'Left'!
Alphabet - I'm not emphasizing the actual letters at this time, however we are focusing on the sounds the letters make. When I write something on the whiteboard, I say the beginning sound of the words, and we sing the song that is from 'Leap Frog'...'A says 'A' and A says 'ah' - every letter makes a sound, A says....etc. We point out what letter each child's name starts with and then the sound, and find letters around the room for games. We sing the alphabet song, do Alphabet puzzles, etc., however my primary emphasis in on the letter sounds. Teaching Tip: Successful beginning reading starts with letter sounds, so that children have the basic building blocks to sound out ANY word as they learn to read basic sight words and then continue to sound out words as they graduate to more advanced reading.
Counting - We count everything and anything we can, so that the children can connect a one-to-one ratio! It's easy to do this anywhere and at any time, and children love to count as high as they can, and then start all over! We will focus more on number recognition starting in January.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Thanksgiving Songs and Poems
Five Little Turkeys
Five little turkeys by the barn door, one waddled off, then there were four.
Four little turkeys out under the tree, one waddled off, then there were three.
Three little turkeys with nothing to do. One waddled off, then there were two.
Two little turkeys in the noonday sun, one waddled off, then there was one.
One little turkey - better run away! Soon will come Thanksgiving Day.
Mr. Turkey
I have a turkey, big and fat.(Make a fist with one hand-thumb out for turkey's head)
He spreads his tail and walks like that.(Attach "tail" by spreading out fingers of other hand and join together)
His daily corn he would not miss.(Poke with thumb at floor)
And when he talks, it sounds like this:Gobble Gobble Gobble
I’m Thankful
Sung to: "Row, row, row your boat
I’m thankful for my friends and for my family.
I’m thankful for the food I eat. I’m happy to be me!
If You're Thankful
Sung to: "If You're Happy & You Know It
If you're thankful and you know it clap your hands
If you're thankful and you know it clap your hands
If you're thankful and you know it
Then your face will surely show it
If you're thankful and you know it clap your hands!
Six Little Turkeys
Sung to: "six little ducks"
Six little turkeys that I once knew
Fat ones, skinny ones, there were two.
But the one little turkey with the funny red wattle.
He led the others with hisGobble, gobble, gobble.
He led the other with hisGobble, gobble, gobble.
Over the rocks and through the tress,
Turkeys wobbling in the breeze,
But the one little turkey with the funny red wattle,
He led the others with his Gobble, gobble, gobble.
Five little turkeys by the barn door, one waddled off, then there were four.
Four little turkeys out under the tree, one waddled off, then there were three.
Three little turkeys with nothing to do. One waddled off, then there were two.
Two little turkeys in the noonday sun, one waddled off, then there was one.
One little turkey - better run away! Soon will come Thanksgiving Day.
Mr. Turkey
I have a turkey, big and fat.(Make a fist with one hand-thumb out for turkey's head)
He spreads his tail and walks like that.(Attach "tail" by spreading out fingers of other hand and join together)
His daily corn he would not miss.(Poke with thumb at floor)
And when he talks, it sounds like this:Gobble Gobble Gobble
I’m Thankful
Sung to: "Row, row, row your boat
I’m thankful for my friends and for my family.
I’m thankful for the food I eat. I’m happy to be me!
If You're Thankful
Sung to: "If You're Happy & You Know It
If you're thankful and you know it clap your hands
If you're thankful and you know it clap your hands
If you're thankful and you know it
Then your face will surely show it
If you're thankful and you know it clap your hands!
Six Little Turkeys
Sung to: "six little ducks"
Six little turkeys that I once knew
Fat ones, skinny ones, there were two.
But the one little turkey with the funny red wattle.
He led the others with hisGobble, gobble, gobble.
He led the other with hisGobble, gobble, gobble.
Over the rocks and through the tress,
Turkeys wobbling in the breeze,
But the one little turkey with the funny red wattle,
He led the others with his Gobble, gobble, gobble.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
November - Joy of Communication and Relationships
We are beginning another month at preschool, and I am very excited about the theme that we are learning about this month. We are discovering the "Joy of Communication and Relationships".
Richard Eyre shares the following experience:
I once knew a middle-aged man, an accountant, who had a ledger-book-sized Christmas-card list. In this thick book all the pages were filled; there were hundreds and hundreds of names. "Business contacts?" I asked. He glanced over, paused for a moment as though considering whether he should tell me something important, then said, "No, they're relationships." He anticipated my next question you form, no matter how small, if it is genuine, can be an asset of eternal duration. No other entry can cancel it out. Some of us spend all our time on temporary assets: money, positions, achievements. We ought to spend more on the eternal assets like relationships. Whenever I earn one, I make an entry on my Christmas card list."
I watched the accountant closer from then on and found that he practiced what he preached. When he met someone - on a plane, in his business, at a PTA meeting - his attitude seemed to be: 'What can I learn from you? What is interesting and unique about you?" For him, life was a fascinating kaleidoscope of relationships, or endless people, each endlessly interesting and each offering more potential joy than a new car or a new position.
Recommended books:
It's Mine! a fable by Leo Lionni (*this is the book we read in class this week)
Mine! Mine! Mine! by Shelly Becker
The Way I Feel by Janan Cain
Words Are Not for Hurting by Elizabeth Verdick
Talk and Work It Out (Learning to Get Along) by Cheri J. Meiners
Share and Take Turns (Learning to Get Along) by Cheri J. Meiners
Methods for teaching ‘Joy of Communication and Relationships’
- Develop a tradition of listening. Really listen, don’t just direct the conversation, and help children glimpse the joy of seeing other person’s point of view.
- Have a sense of humor. Laugh at your own mistakes & laugh w/children at every opportunity!
- Always encourage children to hug and make up after a disagreement.
- Teach and explain the Golden Rule – practice and practice this with your children!
- Role reversal: let children play the parent role while you play child, so they can see and understand some of the problems that we face as parents.
- Don’t constantly tell children what to say while you are in public! They will begin to depend on you telling them what to say, and not take the initiative on their own. Talk to them after a situation, instead of at the moment telling them, “Say thank you” or “Say please” – but afterwards role play together and set the stage for them to speak appropriately and on their own the next time. Help your child see the value of taking initiative in a situation and in their own life.
Watch our communication with our children
- Speak candidly to children – they don’t understand generalizations or round-about talking.
- Help children write letters – you can write while they express their thoughts and feelings. Praise them for phrasing things well as they dictate a letter to you, or while you are talking together. ** NOTE: NEVER THINK THAT YOU ARE CORRECTING YOUR CHILD'S SPEECH MORE THAN YOU SHOULD! OUR CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW THE CORRECT WAY TO SPEAK, AND WE ARE THE ONES THAT ARE TEACHING THEM! DON'T ALLOW THEM TO USE THE WRONG WORD OR PHRASE AND IGNORE IT...DON'T INTERRUPT THEM, BUT NICELY AND APPROPRIATELY INSERT THE CORRECT WAY TO SAY THE WORD!
- Give lots of praise when your child explains or says something particularly well.
- At dinner, encourage your child to talk about something that they know a lot about – or something that they have just learned and is excited to know about.
- Talk on the phone or have close family/friends talk on the phone with your child whenever possible.
- Encourage your child to take advantage of any speaking opportunities. Them them really learn how to communicate to an audience.
- Try to avoid communicating FOR children – and don’t give them a cue every time they are supposed to speak.
- * Discuss how wonderful it is that people are able to communicate with words. We don’t have to fight – like some animals – when we disagree or aren’t able to get what we want. Say, “Let’s talk about it” or “Use your words” or what we try to say, “You are a big person, use your big words to tell us what you feel/want/need/etc.”
Relationships
- * Talk out disagreements. Sit down face to face to work out problems or disagreements that they have with one another or yourself.
- Be an example. Show that relationships should be more important than achievements by always taking time for a relationship.
- Don’t always step in on children’s relationships or try to steer them too much – let them work things out. Sometimes they are able to work things out much better without our interference/”help”!
- * Role-play relationship problems and let the children give ways to solve particular difficulties. Role-play what to do if you want a toy someone has, or if you hurt someone, or someone calls you a bad name. Have your children act out a situation that ended in unhappiness and show how it could have been handled better and ended happily.
- Encourage children to have their own special friends over to play.
- Do something special for your children to let them know of the importance of your friendship with them.
- Develop the family as a social unit. Encourage children to think of family members as their best friends…after all that is what we hope and desire them to be!
Learning Idea for Your Child
Increasing a child's attention span :
Work on increasing your child's attention span step by step, and helping them grow in this area. Give your child a planned activity and require them to stay with it for a fixed period of time. Set the timer. Start with 10 or 15 minutes. Do 2 of these times per day to begin with, one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and not when they're hungry or tired. Build up the time gradually. Be persistent and follow through on waiting until the timer rings, even if they say they are all done in 5 minutes. Focusing is a skill and like any skill, some people find it easier than others, but everyone can learn.
*Find an area that you feel your child needs to specifically work on for their behavior. Do they need a longer attention span when reading books, cleaning their room, doing an activity (art or other). The focus and direction that they receive will help them have a great ability to work well on their own in school, and keep a goal in mind even when other things are happening that could distract them. A key element for success!
Richard Eyre shares the following experience:
I once knew a middle-aged man, an accountant, who had a ledger-book-sized Christmas-card list. In this thick book all the pages were filled; there were hundreds and hundreds of names. "Business contacts?" I asked. He glanced over, paused for a moment as though considering whether he should tell me something important, then said, "No, they're relationships." He anticipated my next question you form, no matter how small, if it is genuine, can be an asset of eternal duration. No other entry can cancel it out. Some of us spend all our time on temporary assets: money, positions, achievements. We ought to spend more on the eternal assets like relationships. Whenever I earn one, I make an entry on my Christmas card list."
I watched the accountant closer from then on and found that he practiced what he preached. When he met someone - on a plane, in his business, at a PTA meeting - his attitude seemed to be: 'What can I learn from you? What is interesting and unique about you?" For him, life was a fascinating kaleidoscope of relationships, or endless people, each endlessly interesting and each offering more potential joy than a new car or a new position.
Recommended books:
It's Mine! a fable by Leo Lionni (*this is the book we read in class this week)
Mine! Mine! Mine! by Shelly Becker
The Way I Feel by Janan Cain
Words Are Not for Hurting by Elizabeth Verdick
Talk and Work It Out (Learning to Get Along) by Cheri J. Meiners
Share and Take Turns (Learning to Get Along) by Cheri J. Meiners
Methods for teaching ‘Joy of Communication and Relationships’
- Develop a tradition of listening. Really listen, don’t just direct the conversation, and help children glimpse the joy of seeing other person’s point of view.
- Have a sense of humor. Laugh at your own mistakes & laugh w/children at every opportunity!
- Always encourage children to hug and make up after a disagreement.
- Teach and explain the Golden Rule – practice and practice this with your children!
- Role reversal: let children play the parent role while you play child, so they can see and understand some of the problems that we face as parents.
- Don’t constantly tell children what to say while you are in public! They will begin to depend on you telling them what to say, and not take the initiative on their own. Talk to them after a situation, instead of at the moment telling them, “Say thank you” or “Say please” – but afterwards role play together and set the stage for them to speak appropriately and on their own the next time. Help your child see the value of taking initiative in a situation and in their own life.
Watch our communication with our children
- Speak candidly to children – they don’t understand generalizations or round-about talking.
- Help children write letters – you can write while they express their thoughts and feelings. Praise them for phrasing things well as they dictate a letter to you, or while you are talking together. ** NOTE: NEVER THINK THAT YOU ARE CORRECTING YOUR CHILD'S SPEECH MORE THAN YOU SHOULD! OUR CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW THE CORRECT WAY TO SPEAK, AND WE ARE THE ONES THAT ARE TEACHING THEM! DON'T ALLOW THEM TO USE THE WRONG WORD OR PHRASE AND IGNORE IT...DON'T INTERRUPT THEM, BUT NICELY AND APPROPRIATELY INSERT THE CORRECT WAY TO SAY THE WORD!
- Give lots of praise when your child explains or says something particularly well.
- At dinner, encourage your child to talk about something that they know a lot about – or something that they have just learned and is excited to know about.
- Talk on the phone or have close family/friends talk on the phone with your child whenever possible.
- Encourage your child to take advantage of any speaking opportunities. Them them really learn how to communicate to an audience.
- Try to avoid communicating FOR children – and don’t give them a cue every time they are supposed to speak.
- * Discuss how wonderful it is that people are able to communicate with words. We don’t have to fight – like some animals – when we disagree or aren’t able to get what we want. Say, “Let’s talk about it” or “Use your words” or what we try to say, “You are a big person, use your big words to tell us what you feel/want/need/etc.”
Relationships
- * Talk out disagreements. Sit down face to face to work out problems or disagreements that they have with one another or yourself.
- Be an example. Show that relationships should be more important than achievements by always taking time for a relationship.
- Don’t always step in on children’s relationships or try to steer them too much – let them work things out. Sometimes they are able to work things out much better without our interference/”help”!
- * Role-play relationship problems and let the children give ways to solve particular difficulties. Role-play what to do if you want a toy someone has, or if you hurt someone, or someone calls you a bad name. Have your children act out a situation that ended in unhappiness and show how it could have been handled better and ended happily.
- Encourage children to have their own special friends over to play.
- Do something special for your children to let them know of the importance of your friendship with them.
- Develop the family as a social unit. Encourage children to think of family members as their best friends…after all that is what we hope and desire them to be!
Learning Idea for Your Child
Increasing a child's attention span :
Work on increasing your child's attention span step by step, and helping them grow in this area. Give your child a planned activity and require them to stay with it for a fixed period of time. Set the timer. Start with 10 or 15 minutes. Do 2 of these times per day to begin with, one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and not when they're hungry or tired. Build up the time gradually. Be persistent and follow through on waiting until the timer rings, even if they say they are all done in 5 minutes. Focusing is a skill and like any skill, some people find it easier than others, but everyone can learn.
*Find an area that you feel your child needs to specifically work on for their behavior. Do they need a longer attention span when reading books, cleaning their room, doing an activity (art or other). The focus and direction that they receive will help them have a great ability to work well on their own in school, and keep a goal in mind even when other things are happening that could distract them. A key element for success!
It's just Halloween Fun!
It was such fun to have Joy School on Halloween Day so that we could share a Halloween Party together (although two of our friends were sick). We did a circle time with our moms and siblings, to show a little part of our Welcome activities and routine that we do each time we meet for Joy School. The children also recited the poem, '5 Little Pumpkins' and enjoyed saying SO many people's name when we sang our "Hello Song". Thank you for the fun and festive food that you brought to share, and for helping with the crafts and other parts that were planned for the day. Children really know how to bring out the fun and excitement in every holiday!
Learning Lab Activity - Play Dough
As you have probably noticed, the children don't always bring home a craft, art project, or "hand-out" that we would do in class. This is due to the fact that many times during preschool we are involved in a group activity where the children are using their group and problem-solving skills, and also working on managing an activity from beginning to end. We set out the craft project, make sure that we dialogue through the activity (meaning that the children ask for things in the correct and polite way from their peers/friends), work on waiting patiently for their turn with a favorite object, and clean-up and leave the area as it was before.
These are our little learning lab activities! Never doubt that amidst the play your child is engaged in, there is a creativity that your child exhibits in what they are making and the joy of discovering how colors blend together, that certain shapes can be created by their own hands, and the joy of seeing what they on their very own have made! These activities can't be put down on paper and sent home...they are far too involved for that!! Hopefully some of the pictures will allow you to glimpse what wonderful work your child is involved in...I particularly love the look of concentration that can be seen on many of the faces.
These are our little learning lab activities! Never doubt that amidst the play your child is engaged in, there is a creativity that your child exhibits in what they are making and the joy of discovering how colors blend together, that certain shapes can be created by their own hands, and the joy of seeing what they on their very own have made! These activities can't be put down on paper and sent home...they are far too involved for that!! Hopefully some of the pictures will allow you to glimpse what wonderful work your child is involved in...I particularly love the look of concentration that can be seen on many of the faces.
Learning Lab Activity - Measuring and working with our spatial skills
A favorite activity of preschool children, is to pour, measure, and sift objects. This activity uses a mixture of beans and pasta, and the children use a variety of kitchen "tools" as they experiment and discover ways to move the mixture from container to container (with many to choose from!). They are developing spatial skills, hand-eye coordination, fine motor skills, and cooperation as they work with others around our project table.
Children with high Visual-Spatial Intelligence are the artists among us. These children think in pictures and images, and store information in a non-sequential fashion, which is a strength of right-brain processing. They have rich internal imagery making them very imaginative and creative. They are visual learners, and are also very observant of the world around them, noticing subtleties and details that we usually miss. They have an excellent awareness of space, the orientation of their body and others. This spatial awareness gives them skills in drawing, doing puzzles, mazes, and any task that requires fine-motor manipulation.
Children with high Visual-Spatial Intelligence are the artists among us. These children think in pictures and images, and store information in a non-sequential fashion, which is a strength of right-brain processing. They have rich internal imagery making them very imaginative and creative. They are visual learners, and are also very observant of the world around them, noticing subtleties and details that we usually miss. They have an excellent awareness of space, the orientation of their body and others. This spatial awareness gives them skills in drawing, doing puzzles, mazes, and any task that requires fine-motor manipulation.
October - The Joy in Honesty and Candor
Today, we started our new unit of 'Joy in Honesty and Candor'. Our new word for today was HONESTY, as we also talked a lot about telling the truth. We used a few examples using puppets and the children acting out different situations. One situation was how we could tell a lie, and then we changed the situation so that the truth was told, and reinforcing how wonderful it felt to be HONEST. Please use the word and concept of being HONEST in your homes, family, and discussions as often as you can, and praise your children when they are HONEST! Each family handles rewards and punishments differently. However, something that is taught in the 'Teaching Children Joy' book (and something that I believe), is that even when children do something wrong, if they are HONEST and tell us the truth - we need to praise that and let them know how thankful and appreciate we are that they told the truth. They will probably still be punished (my children still sit on the Time Out chair for the same amount of minutes as they are old), however if we praise them so much for telling the truth, then they will remember that is an important thing to do, and the punishment will take "back-stage". However, if we immediately get upset, angry, or give them their punishment - then they only remember that they did two things wrong, and one of those is telling the truth. (pg. 146 in 'Teaching Children Joy - TCJ).
I can think of just last night, Bryson Jr. had pushed a little girl and she was in tears. We asked him if he pushed her, and he looked at us right in the eyes, and nodded, 'yes'. Our children at this age (3 years old) haven't learned to cover up their feelings, what they have done, or feel the need to lie. They are usually very transparent. However, how we deal with them now, might help or hinder their desire to continue in being HONEST. Because of their natural honesty and candor, small children are their true selves. If, as they grow older, they lose part of their truth, they will also lose part of who they are. (TCJ, pg. 146)
Recommended books (if you are going to the library, you may want to look for and borrow these, or other titles on the subject of Honesty):
-Sometimes I Feel Like a Mouse (A book about feelings) by Jeanne Modesitt
- My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss- Today I Feel Silly by Jamie Lee Curtis
- Feelings (a Reading Rainbow book) by Aliki
- I Like Me! by Nancy Carlson
- Leo the Late Bloomer by Robert Kraus
- I'm Telling the Truth by Pat Thomas
- Pinnochio
Example
1) Be as real and congruent (a psychological sense, it is matching up how you really feel, how you think you feel, and how you say you feel) as your children are.
2) Verbalize your real feelings, fears and insecurities as well as your joys and loves. Show control, but show honesty! Tell them how you feel - "I'm upset about what happened this afternoon, so I got more angry with you than I should have."
3) Never let them hear you lie about anything to anyone!!
4) Reinforcment and Praise. Since children start with realness, congruence, and honesty, recognition and reinforcement becomes the two great keys. Whatever they get attention for, they'll proably do again; whatever they get praise for, they'll very likely do again; whatever they get joy and praise out of, they'll almost certainly do again.
5) Encourage them to always tell how they feel - to everyone around them.
** Psychiatrists tell us that it's usually as hard to get a person to know how he really feels as it is to help him know why he feels that way. The reason it is so hard to know how we feel is that we stop so early in life telling anyone, even ourselves, how we really feel. We need to recognize emotions, accept them, and, if possible, enjoy them! :)
6) Show acceptability of letting our feelings show.
ACTIVITY:
Show pictures of children and grown-ups crying. Ask: 'What made them cry?' 'Is it okay to cry?' Respond with 'Absolutely!' It is always okay to cry - that is a way we can get out the sad, or mad. However, we want to be careful that we don't cry without a reason (we don't cry just to cry...that is having a fit!). Have an acceptable way for a child to show and vent his anger - a punching pillow, bag, or the floor.
*As we talked about feelings today, we talked about if/when we are mad, we can the floor instead of hitting somone else. That worked well because we were sitting for our circle lesson time, so the floor was close by!
Find something that works for your family and/or child. Always encourage your child to talk out their feelings. I feel that I repeat this ALL the time, but I am constantly asking my children to use their words - find a way to express how they are feeling (for happy and sad, etc.) Have a pact and a family tradition to always tell the truth. Make the reward for honestly psychologically outweigh the punishment for the admitted wrong.
** We are learning the sign-language for different emotions. We actually will be watching the clip from 'Signing Time' on Wednesday to have a different medium to help us learn the signs for our different emotions. If you would like to borrow this DVD, please let me know (I am happy to lend it out, however it is around $20 to replace if it becomes lost or damaged). Just a few of
the signs are as follows (if you need me to do them to clarify, ask me anytime).
Feelings - sign 'Feelings' by making the sign of the 'Letter F' on each hand (put your thumb and pointer finger together) with the remaining 3 fingers up and spread out just a little bit from one another. Take the 'F's' and run them at the same time in front of your chest area - your chest is where all your feelings come from!!
Happy - Very similar to signing 'feelings', except that your hands are open and you move your hands in the same direction, or you can even just do one hand in the upward motion. Sad - You bring your right hand over your face (palm inward) while making a frowny face.
Grouchy/Angry - Bring your right hand over your face and draw your finger in together so they come to a point, meanwhile you make a "grouchy" face (furrow your brows and purse your lips)
Excited - It's like happy on hyper speed - you are really, really happy!!
Surprised - Put your hands up next to your hands (on the outside of your head) and shoot up your pointer finger and put out your thumb, and your eyes get really big! It's like showing the surprise in your eyes!
How many times in society do we hear (or we catch ourselves saying) - "Don't be upset", "You can't be angry/mad/frustrated", or "Wouldn't your rather be happy?" Of course it is much more fun to be happy - we know that! However, if we don't allow ourselves the ability to show and have our real feelings, then we are pretending we don't have those real feelings, and we eventually tell a "lie" - we are lying to ourselves and others about how we feel. I come from a long-line of very happy people on my mother's side. The blessing is that they know how to look at any situation with the Pollyanna outlook, however I have come to realize in my adult life that it is hard to identify what my true and real feelings are, because I remember there was just a short time that I had to feel sad, but then it was on to pulling your chin up and putting on a smile on and getting back out there! We must allow ourselve to have real feelings - and to allow our children their space, time and ability to accept and then deal with their own unique, distinct and very personal feelings! We can help our children express what their emotions are (help them label and be able to identify different emotions - again our examples will really help with this!) and to assure them that all emotions are natural...and okay!
Game/Activity for Families: How Would You Feel?
Write the following questions on narrow strips of paper. The TCJ book suggests to use the bottom half of a styrofoam egg carton, and cut slits in the egg carton. Each person has one or more turms to choose a question and answer it. The questions are very brief, and you can add to them as you ask them. On the papers marked with an asterik (*), you might also ask, "What would you do?" after the child explains how he/she would feel. How would you feel if:
a) You heard a loud, strange noise outside your window at night? (this is from the book - I would change this one to read a bit more gentle for 3 year olds!!)
b) You wanted a quarter to put in the machine at the store and get a candy, but Mother said no? c) Daddy brought you a surprise?
d) Mother said, "You were such a great singer at the _______ party, and I loved seeing your big smile!"?
e) * Your little sister/brother broke your crayons?
f) Your mommy is sick?
g) * Someone is not nice with you?
h) * Your friend will not share their toy with you?
i) * Your grandma gives your brother a bigger piece of cake than you?
** Again each emotion is okay --- after all they are someone's true feelings! The part to help emphasize, is that we need to have ownership of our emotions. As your children get older (and even now at their young age), help them realize that someone else can't MAKE them mad or sad. It might be someone's actions - but it isn't the person themself. That will give you a lot to talk about in the upcoming years, however it will be much easier to talk about emotions and how to handle them and make the traditions now with a 3 year old, then with a 13 year old! :)
Enjoy this time of building a relationship of trust, and open communication with your child in being honest, telling the truth, and expressing the wonderful and sometimes not-so wonderful emotions and feelings that we all have!
Enjoy the JOYS!
I can think of just last night, Bryson Jr. had pushed a little girl and she was in tears. We asked him if he pushed her, and he looked at us right in the eyes, and nodded, 'yes'. Our children at this age (3 years old) haven't learned to cover up their feelings, what they have done, or feel the need to lie. They are usually very transparent. However, how we deal with them now, might help or hinder their desire to continue in being HONEST. Because of their natural honesty and candor, small children are their true selves. If, as they grow older, they lose part of their truth, they will also lose part of who they are. (TCJ, pg. 146)
Recommended books (if you are going to the library, you may want to look for and borrow these, or other titles on the subject of Honesty):
-Sometimes I Feel Like a Mouse (A book about feelings) by Jeanne Modesitt
- My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss- Today I Feel Silly by Jamie Lee Curtis
- Feelings (a Reading Rainbow book) by Aliki
- I Like Me! by Nancy Carlson
- Leo the Late Bloomer by Robert Kraus
- I'm Telling the Truth by Pat Thomas
- Pinnochio
Example
1) Be as real and congruent (a psychological sense, it is matching up how you really feel, how you think you feel, and how you say you feel) as your children are.
2) Verbalize your real feelings, fears and insecurities as well as your joys and loves. Show control, but show honesty! Tell them how you feel - "I'm upset about what happened this afternoon, so I got more angry with you than I should have."
3) Never let them hear you lie about anything to anyone!!
4) Reinforcment and Praise. Since children start with realness, congruence, and honesty, recognition and reinforcement becomes the two great keys. Whatever they get attention for, they'll proably do again; whatever they get praise for, they'll very likely do again; whatever they get joy and praise out of, they'll almost certainly do again.
5) Encourage them to always tell how they feel - to everyone around them.
** Psychiatrists tell us that it's usually as hard to get a person to know how he really feels as it is to help him know why he feels that way. The reason it is so hard to know how we feel is that we stop so early in life telling anyone, even ourselves, how we really feel. We need to recognize emotions, accept them, and, if possible, enjoy them! :)
6) Show acceptability of letting our feelings show.
ACTIVITY:
Show pictures of children and grown-ups crying. Ask: 'What made them cry?' 'Is it okay to cry?' Respond with 'Absolutely!' It is always okay to cry - that is a way we can get out the sad, or mad. However, we want to be careful that we don't cry without a reason (we don't cry just to cry...that is having a fit!). Have an acceptable way for a child to show and vent his anger - a punching pillow, bag, or the floor.
*As we talked about feelings today, we talked about if/when we are mad, we can the floor instead of hitting somone else. That worked well because we were sitting for our circle lesson time, so the floor was close by!
Find something that works for your family and/or child. Always encourage your child to talk out their feelings. I feel that I repeat this ALL the time, but I am constantly asking my children to use their words - find a way to express how they are feeling (for happy and sad, etc.) Have a pact and a family tradition to always tell the truth. Make the reward for honestly psychologically outweigh the punishment for the admitted wrong.
** We are learning the sign-language for different emotions. We actually will be watching the clip from 'Signing Time' on Wednesday to have a different medium to help us learn the signs for our different emotions. If you would like to borrow this DVD, please let me know (I am happy to lend it out, however it is around $20 to replace if it becomes lost or damaged). Just a few of
the signs are as follows (if you need me to do them to clarify, ask me anytime).
Feelings - sign 'Feelings' by making the sign of the 'Letter F' on each hand (put your thumb and pointer finger together) with the remaining 3 fingers up and spread out just a little bit from one another. Take the 'F's' and run them at the same time in front of your chest area - your chest is where all your feelings come from!!
Happy - Very similar to signing 'feelings', except that your hands are open and you move your hands in the same direction, or you can even just do one hand in the upward motion. Sad - You bring your right hand over your face (palm inward) while making a frowny face.
Grouchy/Angry - Bring your right hand over your face and draw your finger in together so they come to a point, meanwhile you make a "grouchy" face (furrow your brows and purse your lips)
Excited - It's like happy on hyper speed - you are really, really happy!!
Surprised - Put your hands up next to your hands (on the outside of your head) and shoot up your pointer finger and put out your thumb, and your eyes get really big! It's like showing the surprise in your eyes!
How many times in society do we hear (or we catch ourselves saying) - "Don't be upset", "You can't be angry/mad/frustrated", or "Wouldn't your rather be happy?" Of course it is much more fun to be happy - we know that! However, if we don't allow ourselves the ability to show and have our real feelings, then we are pretending we don't have those real feelings, and we eventually tell a "lie" - we are lying to ourselves and others about how we feel. I come from a long-line of very happy people on my mother's side. The blessing is that they know how to look at any situation with the Pollyanna outlook, however I have come to realize in my adult life that it is hard to identify what my true and real feelings are, because I remember there was just a short time that I had to feel sad, but then it was on to pulling your chin up and putting on a smile on and getting back out there! We must allow ourselve to have real feelings - and to allow our children their space, time and ability to accept and then deal with their own unique, distinct and very personal feelings! We can help our children express what their emotions are (help them label and be able to identify different emotions - again our examples will really help with this!) and to assure them that all emotions are natural...and okay!
Game/Activity for Families: How Would You Feel?
Write the following questions on narrow strips of paper. The TCJ book suggests to use the bottom half of a styrofoam egg carton, and cut slits in the egg carton. Each person has one or more turms to choose a question and answer it. The questions are very brief, and you can add to them as you ask them. On the papers marked with an asterik (*), you might also ask, "What would you do?" after the child explains how he/she would feel. How would you feel if:
a) You heard a loud, strange noise outside your window at night? (this is from the book - I would change this one to read a bit more gentle for 3 year olds!!)
b) You wanted a quarter to put in the machine at the store and get a candy, but Mother said no? c) Daddy brought you a surprise?
d) Mother said, "You were such a great singer at the _______ party, and I loved seeing your big smile!"?
e) * Your little sister/brother broke your crayons?
f) Your mommy is sick?
g) * Someone is not nice with you?
h) * Your friend will not share their toy with you?
i) * Your grandma gives your brother a bigger piece of cake than you?
** Again each emotion is okay --- after all they are someone's true feelings! The part to help emphasize, is that we need to have ownership of our emotions. As your children get older (and even now at their young age), help them realize that someone else can't MAKE them mad or sad. It might be someone's actions - but it isn't the person themself. That will give you a lot to talk about in the upcoming years, however it will be much easier to talk about emotions and how to handle them and make the traditions now with a 3 year old, then with a 13 year old! :)
Enjoy this time of building a relationship of trust, and open communication with your child in being honest, telling the truth, and expressing the wonderful and sometimes not-so wonderful emotions and feelings that we all have!
Enjoy the JOYS!
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